Dani Whale Tail here…

WoW!  It has been quite the ride y’all!  I am learning to surf those turbulent waves and enjoy the peace in moments of calm tides.  The woman that stands before you today embodies gratitude, creativity, child-like curiosity, she leans into her spirituality and allows faith to lead her, she is fluid yet unapologetically fierce and fiery.  She understands how to create healthy boundaries while being kind and generous.  She listens more,  and is hungry to continue down a life-long path of well-being while becoming an inner witness of her thoughts so she can grow into the wisdom of aging gracefully.  Sometimes I stumble into the old habits of reacting before speaking or an overwhelming sense of anxiety or depression.  I am human after all.  What has changed?  I have insight and tools now that I am traveling through my Yoga journey.  Each time I stumble there is learning and growth in place of continuous repeating patterns.  There is an awareness where I can sit with my feelings and understand them rather than just moving on to the next thing.  There is power in the pause.  This process has been challenging yet a metamorphosis of change.  Sometimes I don’t feel like the same person.  I can see her as she was and know who I am as a result of all those life experiences.  I am no longer a victim.  I am not creating stories of villains or systems out to get me.  I don’t need a hero to save me.  I take a deep breath and pray.  I want you to know that if you are reading this and maybe you don’t like who you are or the decisions you have made,  that you too are capable of forgiving others and yourself while creating space for change.  Become the artist of your life.  You are so very powerful.  You are beauty just the way you are.  No matter what it is that you are struggling with you are the driver of your dreams.  I invite you to take the wheel.

I began my Yoga journey back in 2018 when I was feeling broken.  Emotionally I was a mess coming out of a toxic job.  Physically my shoulder and neck were screaming at me.  My brain would not let shit go.  I was angry at God for my mother dying of cancer at 44.  That anger grew as I was unable to have children as I desired to grow our family.  Unknowingly I had unprocessed physical, mental, emotional and sexual trauma that was stagnant and hiding in my body. My heart was yearning for faith and purpose.  I was lost.  I was exhausted living this way.  I walked into the door at Serenity Yoga and by the end our practice I felt so much lighter.  I was healing.  I continued to rise and walk through that door.  The next thing I knew I was opening the door to Yama Yoga for Yoga Teacher Training.   I felt like I lived in the studio that year practicing all the classes my body could handle.  I even broke down in wailing tears as I fled training.  I considered not returning.   I was afraid of failing.  Now I know that we step into fear to create change.  I graduated January 2019.  Sharon at Serenity gave me my first teaching gig.  What did I have to say?

Those first few years of teaching I faced more parallels of duality.  Health and wellness in one hand and a toxic lifestyle in the other.  I was detoxing and retoxing my life away.  I felt like a fraud at times.  It was challenging to let go of old behaviors and addictions that gave me comfort for so long, like an old familiar friend, yet they were shedding away one by one.  After the milestone of teaching 1000 hours and hosting multiple retreats at Wildflower I was on a jet plane to advance my Yoga training in the mountains of Peru with Kula Collective.  Kula means family and that is just what we became.  We were together for 5 weeks practicing Yoga, spending our mornings in silence, journaling, meditating, getting out of our comfort zones with ecstatic dance, practicing BreathWork while learning assists, energy work, philosophies and history.    We ate vegetarian from the holy land and participated in many cleanses including fasting. This is when I was introduced to multiple forms of ancient ceremony including working through my fear of singing and finding my voice.  I left Peru after our vision quest on the great mountain we climbed with dreams of creating a healing center on our sacred homeland with wildflowers blooming.  What was I getting myself into?

Once home, integration from this experience began.  It was not smooth sailing.  Change never is.  It was momentous and challenging.  It took the courage of a lion.  The foundation of my marriage was broken so we could create a new rock to build upon.  The mountain peaked when I totaled my truck on 12-22-22.   I was arrested and spent a night in jail.  I am now sober, clear and clean.  Sometimes we get exactly what we need in life.  Accountability.  Being Vulnerable and raw.  Forgiveness.  Stepping into humility and becoming humble to the core of our being.  I took the time to explore the dark places within self that are difficult to see.  It was time to heal generational trauma.  A POW for POWERFUL change.

Embracing my imperfections and learning from my shadow behaviors through the illumination of moon ceremonies has been impactful. I am no longer a fraud.  I am authentically me.  I am allowing my masks to fall from my face and my skin to shed so I can spread my wings.  Dropping the duality as I embody oneness of spirit.  I have been able to release that which no longer serves, burning with the element of fire, at each full moon while the new moon is a time to plant seeds of intentions.  Then we water those seeds while giving them time and space to grow and bloom.  When we release we make room for the new.  For the light.  A few things I have let go by working through this process have been addictions such as smoking and drinking alcohol.  I have also let go of toxic people in my life and projects in my work world that were no longer serving me in my highest good.   When we close doors new portals open.  My new mantra is “Safe is Sexy!”  My marriage is blooming in romance, connection and intimacy.  We dive into the practice of prayer and devotionals daily. Ronald Paul and I have never been more connected as that love grows more and more each day.  Additionally, I have high vibrational friendships, the ability to create healthy boundaries with my newfound voice, and family relationships are on the mend.   In addition to Yoga, I have added a steady practice of psychedelic BreathWork, cold-exposure, and walking meditations while creating my vison quest dream of wildflowers blooming on LightWorker Ranch has come to the forefront on our property.  To boot my shoulder and neck are no longer screaming and my lungs and brain are healing.  I am dreaming again and I can even do 5-minute breath holds to my amazement as I was a smoker of 25 years.  I am now a vessel for healing getting high on my own supply!  I am more spiritually aligned with my faith and purpose.  There is no turning back now.  I have taken the wheel and become the driver of my dreams.  Want to join me?

~ Let’s make some waves ~

Dani